Over the past few years I have begun to think about what it means to have self-love or lack thereof as a gay man. In my life I have truly had the pleasure of understanding transition and change not only for a country but as well for me. So my thoughts today are shared on my personal journey with that and how it currently applies to a call for help in healing a community.
If you currently do not know a gay male or female then you haven’t opened yourself up to the world that surrounds you. I invite you to start there. Gay men and women currently belong to a community that for the past 100’s if not 1000’s of years have been looked on by religions, families and many countries as an abomination, less than and UN-valued. Oddly enough this has created a community of wonderful human beings who due to this turning away became misfits, drug users, alcoholics, party goers with a false sense of self worth, self love and a self value reaching for love or a hope of community amongst a group of misfits. I belong to this group of misfits…I have been a part of all of these worlds…. running after a world where all I wanted to do was LOVE and be LOVED. The faith that I was raised in, The Mormon Church – Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has had a difficult time and still somewhat does in understanding how to love those individuals who love or are attracted to the same sex. So that circle of “misfits” continues with really little fault of their own. This result is no different than an emotionally abused or abandoned child. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not to blame and neither are their members. There is currently a major shift happening in the church to understand…and that is strides greater than many others out there. The church is not alone in the shift happening in religions…there are others as well. So its nice to see that not only are many states in this country taking major steps in assisting with this new found reality of damage that has been set on innocent human beings but so are many churches and faith.
Equality is really beautiful and I love that states across this country are joining the force in helping to assist in national and international epidemic by allowing member’s of their state the freedom to love and marry. This gives me great hope that one-day this nation and hopefully world will also see the value of giving ALL that same respect and freedom. However, this community of so-called “misfits” now has to learn how to love themselves enough so they can then love others. This lack of love for self and others now has a world of boundaries attached and reasons why they shouldn’t be loved or love others. Then you attach the opportunity to get married and have a relationship and wow, you have wonderful people giving up on relationship’s or the search for love simply because they do not feel that they deserve such a thing (because they truly do not understand what it means to be loved or to love someone else).
The Native American’s speak of the Gay Community as the “two spirits” (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-orgbon/twospirit-people-gays-acc_b_1677851.html), having and holding both the male and female spirit thus giving them spiritual leadership in many tribes, Inca’s, etc.(Why do you think many women and men have such close friendship/best friendships with the gay community, cause its easy and you feel safe). Many faiths believe in the value of combining both the male and female spirit as well by combining two separate human beings as one. However, if it is true that our journey here on earth is to combine those two spirits and the gay community already has those dual spirits individually then clearly they are seeking for someone who holds those dual spirits as well. Not stating this as true, however, would that mean that in some way those who have been ridiculed, killed, abused and abandoned due to these dual spirits might actually be holders of a higher spiritual life that we are all seeking. Food for thought
So YOU ask yourself…what does this mean? How can I help? And that answer is very simple yet can be difficult to apply. And it starts with opening yourself up to loving everyone regardless of his or her sexual preference. Reach out to these individuals and let them know they are loved. Invite them if necessary to get counseling so the world of self-sabotage can end. Ultimately help them learn what it means to love by extending your love to them and help them on their road to healing. If you are a parent do not abandon your child…love them. If you are child…understand your parent and give them that love they need. If you are a sibling…support your sibling and let them know that no matter what you are there for them. I have been through it all…I have seen the pain that not loving or turning away from a child can do. I am also currently blessed to be on the other side of that table and receiving the necessary healing and love to grow due to family and friends that have been through it all with me.
One of my assignments during my journey on this earth…is to help in healing the gay community, and it starts here and it starts with me.
If you are a gay and are looking for a community who feels very similar about the need to help and heal…I suggest Easton Mountain Retreat Center (http://eastonmountain.org) near Albany, New York. I promise you…you will thank me later.