Saturday, March 28, 2009

Me, Me, Me - ROOMMATES, oy! - Sarah Byrne, a true friend -

Me Me Me Me Me....Ya know....They may not like me for saying it....but I have to look at myself I might as well like what I am looking at.  Right?  lol!  

So recently I had an argument with my roommates over a stupid mistake in my life.  A mistake which sadly has caused them some harm and discumfort.  I as a sane human being am trying to resolve things...keep a smart mind about myself.  It is sad that some people take emotions and personal issues in my life (which really have no value outside of conversation and simply knowing)  and try to throw my personal life back in my face.  One of these friends(roommates) bawks on how they are giving to the world and giving to forgiveness of those who are less fortunate - however when placing value on forgiving a friend...or someone they live with, that belief system is thrown out the door.  And another friend (roommate)  whom I have allowed he let his partner live in my apartment - the apartment that I hold a lease to - says to my face that I am forgiven and that we are friends, and then teams up with this other person and creates some sort of negative feelings against me.  I WILL STATE THIS ONCE - AND ONCE ONLY - I CAN DO WITH OR WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE...I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE THIS BETTER AND RESOLVE ALL SITUATIONS...BE IMMATURE AND PLAY THIS GAME OF UNFORGIVENESS AND WATCH ME PUSH - AND I WILL PUSH.

Anyway... there are beauties of this of them who is Sarah Byrne.  While I was taking care of Michael Freeman in the Hospital and his dear dog MADDY...I found out who my true friends were.  Sarah - who is a chaplain for NYU medical - and my personal bestest friend EVER - came and spoke to Mike and me while we were there.  I wish her all the best in is amazing how her and I have been through so much...and how we continue to stay close.  Knowing someones true heart can give you greater value in life.  Placing value on the here and now and not forgiving will continue to damage you in the future.  

Two things I have learned during my hard times in my life...and a wise man from my Graduate Program said to me...1. Never allow the little things in life to harm you, because placing value on the little things creates big messes.  2.  Never allow money to stop you from achieving your dreams.  Take it or leave it...I love those comments.

Anyway...I have a lot of fire burning inside my emotions today..because I had people whom I thought valued or loved me...threaten me over email.  Really...are we still so young and can't grow up?!?

Wishing everyone who reads this a wonderful day...and a reminder that life is full of mistakes, challenges and heartaches.  Forgiveness of ourselves and others is possibly the biggest challenge we will learn.

What do you think of the Headshots I took with Nyle Caisley and Shane Maritch...let me know!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

March 25th - Working for IBM - Working on companies

Life is so busy these is so busy that I am not even allowing myself a moment to just sit back, relax and figure things.   There are so many exciting new things to talk about...there is also a realization that I am not as cool or trustworthy as I thought I once was.  That latter realization more dissapointing than I would like to admit.  

First things first...on April 1, 2009 I will begin to work for opportunity that I am both overwhelmed and yet extactic about.  I will be a trainer for this amazing company and helping the people of NYC understand a new system to help them move forward during this computer age.  I love to teach and to help...and feel that this is a blessing during this tragic time of our economy.  

I also have been working on Wright Way Master Classes - The Photography Train - The Wright Way Productions, all companies that are moving forward in a more powerful and exciting way.  I cannot wait for things to come to will be a way for talented and influential people to make a difference and see change.   I am finding success by trying to make a difference and seeking to help.

Over the past eight months I have found myself making a couple of mistakes that have hurt those whom are closest to me.  It saddens me that I have made such mistakes...I ask for their forgiveness.  I seek to be better and seek to make a difference and hope to regain my friendship with them.  I love you guys.

I hope that this finds everyone well.  

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Amazing Support - So Much good - Emotional

I am overwhelmed by the amazing support that is being given to me in regards to the New York Aids Coalitions need for money.  People it is ever so true and ever so needed....thank you for taking the time and for helping to make a difference.  Thank you.

My life recently has been filled with so much good - so many amazing things have crossed my path. Wonderful Friends, Wonderful Family and Wonderful Relationships.  People who are all looking out for me, people who want to see great things in my life and people who know how to say  just the right thing.  

So this last week was very busy for say the least. And by the weekend I had gotten only fourteen hours of sleep in 4 days.  I had done a successful job up in everything I did that weekend - The Photography Train was a success and my performance in Stamford Towncenter was a success (which by the way I am now being robbed of $1850.00 from Michael Davids or Michael Demos, whatever he now chooses to call himself).  Due to all of the stress it left me drained and boy did I get emotional....I had asked someone very close to me to get some throat lasanges (not sure if I spelled that right)...and when I found out that they hadn't done it...I started to cry uncontrollably.  People this was not some wimper...this was a right out tears dropping like a waterfall from my eyes - aka: crazy.  I cried for nearly an hour...I cried even when I was laughing out loud - OUT OF CONTROL CHAOS.  Yeah, really cool Rance...really cool!  hahaha!  YEAH...EMOTIONAL ME!

Anyway, thank heavens they didn't go!  

I have also gained a new found love for a French Bulldog named Madeline - yeah - dogs love me...and I love dogs.  Every night if I am around she will lay on me to go to bed or at least lay on me till I need to go to bed.  However, when I try to move her...she is not easy to shift...and will roll her eyes over at you as if to say "HOW DARE YOU SHIFT ME AWAY FROM YOUR WARM CROTCH"...just saying!

Anyway...I am tired...and I feel it important that I head to bed.  But as I say goodbye to you tonight...I am going to leave you with one of my favorite Whistlers of the 80's and 90's - Mrs. Mariah Carey herself!