Over the past two weeks I have gone through numerous emotions - emotions of joy and emotions of sadness. Ultimately asking myself questions that I never thought I would have to ask myself before. I cried out of anger and I cried simply just to cry. I felt needy and I felt giving and yet nothing and everything seemed to help or leave me at bay. I wanted to be held and I also wanted to not be touched at all. I felt like I had done everything correct and yet felt like I had done nothing right at all. What to do, what to do, what to dooooooooooooooooooooo.
My nephew - Deyton Kash Sorenson - lived 5 days long. Five glorious, stressful, exciting, sad, spiritual, void, filled with emotion, nothing left to give, blessing bountiful days. These days I sadly only got to participate in via pictures and testimonials, these days I only dream I could have been more a part of.
I had the blessing of arriving to Saint George, Utah - on the night prior to my nephew Deyton's funeral - I humbly was asked to sing for my nephews funeral, a song that I honestly LOVE, called FACE TO FACE. In rehearsal the morning of the funeral I was a WRECK, trying to sing a song about seeing God's face and the face of those we loved who we have lost again. A song of recognition that there is life after death. I would open my mouth and begin SOBBING uncontrollably - thinking of my Sister, Brother-in-law and nephew and just wishing things had been different or at least wishing that I had the blessing of seeing him and meeting him when he was here. I was a mess. Yet, as the time came for me to sing the song for my nephew and family - I was oddly blessed with something greater than I and gained not only the strength but yet the courage to sing this song on behalf of my nephew. A power - I cannot explain or try to express in words - a power or spiritual opportunity offered to me - for the benefit of those that would hear. I love god - I love the spirit and I am forever grateful for the opportunities and chances that I am given to be blessed with these experiences. BECAUSE IT WAS NOT MY OWN STRENGTH THAT HELD IT TOGETHER. It was beautiful to behold.
I am so proud to be a Wright and associated to my family tree - they are amazing people with the strength and will to survive - The death of my nephew was hard - but I am a better or more spiritual person due to this experience. And I give credit to that acknowledgement to God and with the help of little Deyton.
To all who have been a part of my life and continue to be a part of my life - My Family, Michael F., Sarah B., Nyle C., Alison F., and all the rest of my friends. Thank you!